Kristin Prentiss Ott, M.D.

10 Reasons Breasts Are Our Frenemies

NOTE: The full text of this post was originally posted to facebook as a status update on my facebook page for easy reading/sharing.

10 Reasons Breasts Are Our Frenemies

  1. They are beautiful. Like really, really beautiful. So everywhere they go they get a lot of attention. Sometimes it’s like, “Hey – breasts are not the only people here!”
  2. They are really popular and nice to have around for going out. I’ve heard it said that you can tell how likeable someone is by how many nicknames they have – and breasts have sooooo many nicknames!
  3. They are smarter than any molecular engineer ever. They can make an absolutely perfect blend of fat/protein/carbs, add miraculous little antibodies and feel-good stuff, and store it at the perfect temperature.
  4. They are ridiculously talented. Lactating breasts are like magical sleep fairies for crying babies. Honestly, it’s like they’re showing off.
  5. But they can make us seem a little judgey. We look at them and think “too small” or “too big!”
  6. And…they’re a little high maintenance… They don’t want to be seen with you in public unless they’re dressed the right way. The braless ones silently beg, “Puh-lease don’t make us go out like this!”
  7. They’re demanding. One good bra is not enough for them. They want sports bras and push-up bras and strapless bras and whatever new bra Victoria’s Secret puts on the cover of their Valentine’s Day catalog. (And did I mention they have expensive taste?)
  8. When we gain or lose weight – breasts are the first to let us know. Tactless.
  9. They are hormonal. Sometimes they hurt us for no reason!
  10. They can totally betray you. They can steal away your sister, best friend, wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, niece, neighbor, or loved one. They can steal life away from you. The next time you hear Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood,” think about breasts (not hers…yours).

You know what they say, “Keep your friends close, and your [fr]enemies closer.” So check-up on them regularly. And when it’s time – keep tabs on them with mammograms. You want to catch something before there’s “bad blood.”

Breasts are super likable and have a lot going for them. They can be your BFF’s (’breasties’). But we should all be a little wary of them. 1 in 8 women will have breast cancer. And that means breasts are our frenemies.

Please share in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month!

#breastcancerawareness #fightlikeagirl #savethetatas

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Kristin Prentiss Ott, M.D.

Author of the viral post: 10 Things to Know Before Your Next Visit to the Emergency Department. Board certified emergency medicine physician, wife, mother, aspiring novelist.
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